Time for what you've all been waiting for...dang it

Yeah...it's almost been a month since this happened. But I was behind on posts and a little busy and well...not feeling like doin this post. (it's happened before)

But here it is world.
The "Russell-leaving-me post."

side note: You might notice that I added some new songs to my playlist...well blog, I added some songs that are just creepin my life..for instance Living In Your Letters. Hmm...interesting. Been my favorite for some time now.
But another song I added was mine and Russell's song from The Goofy Movie-
Nobody Else But You. (we say I'm Goofy and he is Max)
Love it. Check it out if you need a reminder of its goodness :)

Alright well...let's start this cry-fest.

I guess people see that it is hard for me to part with loved ones. I mean, the day Ellen moved I had 12 people ask me how I was holding up. (no exaggeration)
After Russell's "opportunity-to-speak-before-his-mission" they would congratulate him and wish him luck, and then come to me and comfort me.
His farewell was on our birthday. I'll be honest I completely forgot it was my birthday! I was only thinking about Russell and his talk.I was so nervous before! I sat in the front row by my girls because it was too crowded where my family was..and my girls pretty much just grabbed me and sat me by them. hehe Maybe because they could see my hands shaking, my eyes already filling up with tears, and were excited to see the rare sight of me crying...and crying hard. hehe
Really though, I could not hold still. The girls were there to try and calm me down though. During the sacrament I had to force myself to stop thinking about Russell and focus on the sacrament instead.
I cried the whole meeting dang it. Everytime I would look up at him, especially when he would look back. When the Calton's would talk about Russell and his incredible example, when they talked about my boys and how excited and ready they were for missions. When Russell stood up to speak, when he said anything-especially the words Mission and Germany. When he would get emotional and tear up talking about the gospel and his family. When my grandfather gave him mission advice, and pointed out how his family, friends and angel twin sister were supporting and loved him. Wow I had serious cry-face! I think I cried even more because I was so embarrassed of my cry-face. hehe Anyway, brother did an amazing job. I was/am so proud.

I had to go back down to Provo that night cuz I'm stinkin in college. But to be honest, I was home so much that it was weird being down there still. Tuesday afternoon I went back up to Murray for his setting apart. My grandfather got to set him apart. It was amazing, loved it. He was now ELDER Irion. Wow he was happy.

Well, that night he had the boys come over to say goodbye. Gosh that was hard to watch. We all just sat and talked for a while, but then it was getting late (for a missionary) and wow reader, watching best friends say goodbye was awful. Watching the boys cry and thank him and everything made me cry for sure. While they were doing their "mission goodbye rituals" Ellen happened to call. I had cry-voice and sounded funny but it was good to hear from her and know that she was thinking of me. (thanks again ell bell)We went inside and packed up a few things, and Russell got ready for bed. I couldn't leave his room. We talked and talked. Because he couldn't listen to music we started singing our song. I made him take a picture in a pose like in Saturday's Warrior (the twins do this-so whenever Russell would touch my leg I would quickly get into this pose and he would always get mad...not tonight :) hehe) We did our "simultaneous light switches" with the light and his lamp that we always used to do,
then we said "gute Nachtbruder" and "gute Nachtschwester" and I shut the door and
went over to Sam's to bawl.
The next morning I had to go to Provo cuz of class. I had to just meet up with the family at the Brick Oven for lunch. Russell didn't eat much- he was so anxious! We went down the street from my apartment to the MTC (can I just say how crazy that is?). We took the beloved pics in front of the MTC sign and in we went. Russ was so stoked he just wanted to get in there! We took the pictures in the front room and off we went to the dreaded "goodbye room"
I couldn't sing Called To Serve- too choked up. I couldn't look at Russell. I couldn't look at my mom. I could only look at the ceiling so my tears wouldn't come out. But wow could I NOT look at him saying goodbye to the family! I just had to sit in my own little world because I couldn't handle watching that, and also knew people were watching me too. I hugged him so tight and finally got the words "I love you. I'm so proud of you. I'm gonna miss you better half" out. He said "I love you too. Thanks for everything Linds. I'll miss you. Love you" and I had to let go so the others could hug him. Yes, I got another quick hug in there again..ahh I'm gonna miss those hugs. Then I stared as he smiled and walked away to the Missionary door.Overall I think I did a great job in there.. I got myself together by time we were in the hall. The fam came and hugged me and comforted me. But yeah, I did better than I was thinking I would do...so I was pleased. (p.s. That cute boy wore the tie I gave him for his birthday. love him)

I kinda just sat around for a while that day until Joe Tom and Christie took me out to dinner. They know how to cheer me up ;) But really, the next couple of days were fine. I think I was still in denial. I waved at the MTC when I drove to the temple down the street and when I drove home that Sunday. Luckily/Unluckily, it wasn't till Sunday when it really hit me and was real hard for me. Even though the whole family was there, I just sat in silence. I was missing MY spouse (everyone else has one..) I didn't even know where to sit at the table. haha It was just really weird for me to be there without him. It had finally hit me that he was gone.

This is uber long and I apologize world. So I will keep the conclusion short and sweet.
I love getting emails and letters- especially ones he sends to my apartment.
I am so proud of Elder Irion and know he will do an amazing job.
I am so grateful to have Russell as my better half.
I love and miss him with all that I am.
Most of all i'm grateful that "It's just our luck, we're stuck together.
Nobody else but you"